Her Beautiful Story..

We confirmed we were pregnant with KristaLeigh Geniva Blue on January 10th.. We talked to her.. Enjoyed her.. Worried about her.. My health scares were hard.. But she continued to grow and pass her milestones..she is loved..she was wanted.. She is ours.. On July 23 2013. The pain came.. I thought it was my pancreas just like times before.. We got stable..she got monitored..she passed..her heartbeat showed no signs..daddy said goodnight to her.. Told her he loved her.. And went home.. I had a bath..then they gave me an Ativan to sleep.. Somewhere in the night she woke me up moving.. I said good girl Kristaleigh..good girl..and passed out again..in this time.. She passed away..she was called home..when i woke up..i couldn't pass urine.. I freaked out..called the nurse..but all i remember is darkness.. And voices..and i was out again.. By the time i had an ultrasound..which was done in silence..no one talked..i don't know how long later.. I was told..the walls shook..the angry and fear overcame me..i cried out.. How! How!! I'm not the only one bonded to this child..how am i to tell them shes gone!! My body was in full crash.. Kidney failing..my levels were telling the Dr . I was dying too..still pleaded with all i had to birth her vaginally ..they told me i was to sick.. They had to take her...i don't know her weight.. I don't know her length.. What hurts the most right now is i didn't get to kiss her little head.. And verbally speak to her.. I had ten tubes..doing all the work for me..and i just wanted her..when i held her.. I pushed through the medication.. I remember my moments with her..skin to skin. 

July 24th. 2013 (32 weeks gestational) 

- i love you my beautiful Angel..-

KristaLeigh Geniva Blue

As this storm rages
 in sorrow and pain,
Her Love will guide Us through..
And Light our way
<3