I am Rooted..I am..

~†~

Rooted.

I am rooted..

deep into the earth.

as my world shakes

my weather is stormy..

I am Rooted..

Like a mighty Pine.

I am rooted.

At times i may feel like 

they aren't strong enough

But i dig my roots deeper.

into Mother earth..

as her 

Love Keeps Me Kind.

I hunker down 

Sending my roots deeper.

as anchors 

Holding me Near.

~†~

8 Months..

its been eight months.

eight months with this brokeness that grows..

with each ticking clock 

that passes

Eight Months..

without you.

Miss you sweet KristaLeigh.

<3

Valentines Day.

                   Today is love day

                       Sweet Girl,

     Although you are only here in spirit 

              Our love travels with you.

          We feel your love surround us

                              <3

sleepless nights..and broken hearts...

As the morning twilight starts to form by the horizon

my heart doesn't want to rest..

it just plays your memory over and over.

and my body aches for you..

empty arms..

teary eyes..

Miss you my sweet child

i feel like you were stolen from my love.

and the walls fight with me..

do you miss me too?..

little absent kicks..

heartbeats stop..

emptiness fills..

with a silence so loud its deafening..

oh sweet child.

what i would do just to hear you..

giggle.

What i would do..

to see you fall in love with this world..

What i would do..

to hold you..

to kiss you.

My Sweet Girl.

Right Here...

You are not with me

In flesh or bone..

But your spirit is

Right here

<3

Fights and chaos.

Its not always easy to communicate what i need and at times its even hard for your dad to hear those needs...we do our best to love one another through this tragic time away from you. We forget to be gentle with ourselves. And at times i have to remember he is mourning the loss of you. And at times i feel limited by that mourning also. I feel like i dont get the chance to have a quiet moment or a loud moment. The constant worry about it all is that i will just finally snap. And it will all be for nothing. And i dont want to get to that point. I need to create that space again where i can find "sanctuary" so i can find my sanity again. To center myself and ground my feet because my ledge is narrowing..im climbing..and at times im falling.. The anxiety overwhelms my mind and frantic sets in.. And as much as we want to honour our love for you by staying united and together.. At times we just need that "time to be with ourselves" but we find that distraction..or friction..and we collide and clash and bend..and the thunder rumbles and the lighting flashes the stormy skies in rage and hurt follows closely as the strikes hit our already scorched shores..wounds open wide that we so desperately want to scar over...We will see ourselves through this storm. i love you Krista Leigh Geniva Blue. <3 

Include you in all i do..

Christmas, i should be picking out your christmas dress with great excitement, and the cuteness you would be showing now..telling momma and daddy stories..in lillerones form. What is your beautiful personality??..i miss you KristaLeigh..my sweet girl. Rest easy.